Selecting the right life partners is necessary to lead a happy married life. The most common characteristics people want in their partners include honesty, intelligence, sense of humor, stability, communication, and common hobbies and interests. Though men and women might seek similar traits in a partner, research has demonstrated that each gender focuses on different qualities. Men typically want a relationship that allows autonomy, while women look for a sense of connection.
There are many factors that one needs to consider when choosing a life partner. Here's how you can select your perfect one.
1. Know yourself
Most important thing to choose your life partner is to know yourself first. If you don’t know yourself well how could you know what do you want actually, what do you want to see in your partner. Be honest with yourself about your personality, needs, and values. So before you start searching your partner ask yourself where you want your life to take you, what do you like, what qualities you are looking for. Having a strong sense of self will help you recognize when you’re compatible with someone.
2. Don’t make choice out of fear or any pressure
So many times people either choose a partner or stay with someone in an unhappy relationship predominantly out of some kind of fear or family or someone else’s pressure. Usually that fear is being alone but fears can vary widely from person to person. Sometime family choose your life partner and create pressure that you have to select their choice as well. It’s often better to be alone and wait for the right person than to make a decision out of fear or pressure. Making decisions out of fear or pressure leads to confusion, anxiety and a general feeling of something being amiss.
3. Potential partner with same mentality and similar interests
Selecting someone who belong to same mentality and shares a lot of common interests with you will work in your favor. Remember that all your interests don't really have to be the same, but some would do. When you decide to spend your life with someone, you must look at things that the two of you would love to do together. For example, if you are a movie buff, you would ideally like to be with someone who enjoys movies as well. If you love going hiking and camping on the weekends, you would probably want to seek out a partner who likes the outdoors. This will make your life interesting.
4. It’s okay to have standards
While choosing a life partner, you need to consider your and your family's standards. Though it's okay to choose someone who probably does not belong to the same strata of society as yours, make sure that he/she's not completely off the mark.
5. Consider your partner's intellect
If you are a laid-back person and your partner is an over-achiever that could lead to a threat in your marriage. You must see eye to eye on how both of you are able to think and process things.
6. You should have respect for one another
You obviously cannot spend your life with someone who has no respect for you or your dreams/goals or your personality. So, choose someone who will acknowledge you for the rest of your life.
7. You must have trust on your partner
In this day and age, it is extremely important to choose someone you can trust. You definitely cannot lead a happy marriage if you cannot trust each other or have faith.
8. Maturity and responsibility
Marriage is a huge responsibility. If your future partner is not matured enough then he or she might not be able to realize and take this responsibility of taking care of you and your family. Understanding between both of you lies in how much maturity you both can show to each other.
9. Decide which personality and life style your ideal partner must have
Your partner’s personality and life style will play a big role in your future life. Decide which traits your ideal partner needs to have, and which ones you could live without. For instance, you might decide your future partner needs to be trustworthy, kind, and emotionally stable. Take your own personality and values into consideration. Most people do best with a partner who is at least somewhat similar to them.
10. Ensure that your partner values who you are
An ideal romantic partner should be able to maintain a balance. Your mate should value and appreciate who you are right now, flaws and all. You shouldn't feel like you have to be someone else around them. However, that person should also support your growth and encourage you to be the very best version of yourself. Question whether your partner lets you be who you are while still supporting your growth. For example, they shouldn't be pushing you to be someone else, or discouraging you from making positive changes.
11. Avoid making overly detailed checklists
It can be fun to make lists of “must-haves” in a future partner, but if you get too invested in your wish list, you might miss out on a great relationship. Focus on how you get along with potential partners in real life, not how well-matched you are on paper. If you must make a list, focus on just a few of the values or traits that are most important to you.
12. Take your time
Overall, be patient. It is critical to know your own values, wants, and needs before you enter a relationship. Take your time getting to know your partner's personality, history, value systems, and ideals to evaluate whether this is a quality relationship. When you start seeing someone, be patient and let the relationship develop naturally. Don’t get serious too quickly or write someone off prematurely. It takes time to know whether you’re compatible with someone.
Selecting a perfect partner is not the end rather it’s the beginning of a new life. Getting married is something very special and at the same time something new experience for every couple. Lot of changes happen and every couple has to go through many ups and downs. We have some tips for these new couples to have a happy conjugal relation.